captofthesswolfstar:

((So there is a big chunk of the fic missing because it was superawesomekinkysex but I will post the full version on AO3. Also lyrics to little red riding hood belong to Sam The Sham and The Pharaohs…and I also stole a line from the Addams family of you can find it lol…oops….))
——

Lily Evans watched with a somewhat dreamy expression as Hagrid rolled several pumpkins the size of an average Volkswagen Beetle into the Great Hall.
“That’s something I’ll really miss next year,” She sighed, digging into the short stack of pancakes on her plate without tearing her eyes away from decorating that was taking place in front of them. “Every Holiday at Hogwarts is so incredible. Nothing will ever compare.”
Mary gave a little shrug, also enjoying the show as one of Hagrid’s giant pumpkins went rogue and nearly ran right over Professor Flitwick. “I do miss Halloween as a kid though, don’t you?” She smiled nostalgically. “The costumes and the trick or treating…it was exciting.”
“What in the name of Godric is Trick or Treating?” James asked with a laugh, taking then seat on Lily’s left and diving, uninvited, into her pancakes with his fork. Lily frowned and used her own utensil to stab her boyfriend’s greedy hand. “Ouch! Such violence, Evans. Not very Head Girl of you.” He shook his wounded appendage with a pout.
Lily rolled her eyes, taking James’ hand in hers and kissing the spot she had so viciously attacked. “And whining isn’t very Head boy. And neither is stealing, get your own bloody breakfast!”
“You didn’t answer my question,” said James pointedly as he began to pile food onto his own plate. “I suppose it’s some muggle tradition?”
“Basic manners?” Remus smirked over the top of the book he was reading. “It’s a human tradition, Prongs. One you and Padfoot seem to have trouble grasping.” He glanced over at his own boyfriend, who was nearly standing on the table, reaching over several fifth year students to get to the pumpkin bread.
“It’s the inbreeding.” Shrugged James.
Remus shook his head and grabbed Sirius by the belt loop of his trousers, pulling him back into his seat. “You could just ask someone to pass you the bloody thing, you animal.”
Sirius gave the most innocent look he could manage around the large bite of bread he had taken. “I di’n’t wan’ t’ int’rupt their conversation.” He swallowed. “I was being polite.”
“Anyway,” said Mary slowly, bringing the conversation back. “Yes, Muggles celebrate Halloween very differently. Kids get all dressed up in costumes and go door to door saying ‘trick or treat’ and they are given candy. It was always so fun.”
Sirius choked. “Wait,” he pounded on his chest, still coughing. “Hold on, people just give you candy? Just for knocking on their door in a ruddy costume?”
Lily and Mary both nodded. “That’s basically the idea, yeah.” Said Lily.
“And if they don’t have candy, you get to-” Mary started, her sentence falling short as both Remus and Lily frantically shook their heads. No, there was no reason to tell James or Sirius about the ‘trick’ part of Trick-Or-Treating. “Er…well, never mind. It’s for the kids anyway. We’re too old.”
James and Sirius both deflated, looking rather disappointed.
“Would you two stop pouting?” Said Lily, giving the two dark haired boys an unsympathetic look. “We’re miles from the closest muggle village anyway. It’s not like you’d be able to actually go.”
It was at that moment that Peter arrived, sliding into his seat across from Remus.
“Where’ve you been?” James asked with a frown, noticing how flushed the smaller boy was and how out of breath.
Peter groaned and grabbed the first liquid he could get his hands on, which happened to be Remus’ pumpkin juice, and downed it in one gulp. He slammed the goblet back on the table and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, pausing when his eyes met Remus’ irritated expression.
“Sorry Moony.” Said Peter sheepishly.
“Bloody raised in a barn, all of you…” Muttered Remus, going back to his book.
Peter sighed heavily, composing himself. “I was on my way down here and I saw Hagrid with the decorations so I offered to help. He said if I wanted I could go down to his and help Marlene and Dorcas with the last of the giant Pumpkins. So I went and…” He huffed. “It’s a long story, but one of them nearly fell so instead of having a massive mess of pumpkin guts to clean up, I charmed the bloody thing to bounce, I mean it seemed like the better option, right?”
Slowly the others nodded.
“Well I should’ve just let it smash because as annoying as the mess may have been, ‘least then we wouldn’t have gotten chased half way across the grounds by giant bouncing pumpkins the size of elephants!”
Sirius and James both snorted at the image that popped into their heads. Lily and Mary grimaced.
“What about Marls and Dorcas?” Asked Lily, turning to see if perhaps they too would come through the door to the Great Hall. “Are they alright?”
“Oh, yeah. They’re…er…well they aren’t hurt or anything…see, the pumpkin chased us to the Whomping Willow and when it hit, the willow smashed it to bits. So Marls and Dorcas may be in the showers for quite some time…”
At that, Sirius and James nearly lost it. They both slammed their hands on the table, shoulders shaking with silent, breathless laughter. Lily and Remus both gave in to the amused smiles they had been trying to fight as well. Mary looked confused.
“How’d you manage to not get splattered, then?”
The other four, who all knew exactly how Peter avoided both being covered in pumpkin guts or beaten up by the tree, stopped laughing and waited for Peter’s fabricated answer.
Peter coughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck. “Er…well…y’know, I just…well…stop drop and roll?”
Mary tilted her head and frowned “What does-”
“So what were you lot saying about going out to a muggle village?” Peter diverged loudly, turning back to his friends.
Remus rolled his eyes. “No one is going to a muggle village. We were just explaining muggle Halloween traditions to James and Sirius. They wanted to know about Trick-Or-Treating.”
“Merlin, I forget you two never did those sorts of things,” Peter said with a grin as he too seemed to slip into a flashback of his pre-Hogwarts childhood. “Muggle Halloween was the best. I remember one year, my cranky old neighbor Mr. Crowley was handing out those bags of peanuts they give you on airplanes instead of candy. So my cousin and I came back later in the night and put itching powder all over his car door.” He laughed to himself at the memory. “His house was a huge prank target that year. Toilet paper in the trees and shaving cream-”
“WHAT?” Shouted both James and Sirius, looking at their respective significant others as if they had been physically wounded. “There’s pranking involved?”
“And you just conveniently left that part out?”
“Well, yeah,” Said Peter, as if it were obvious. “It’s called TRICK-or-treating, isn’t it? If they don’t give you treats, they get tricked.”
Sirius shook his head, glaring at Remus. “Bloody selfish you are. Keeping all this muggle fun to yourself all these years.”
“Sirius, since when do you need a specific holiday to prank someone? If you want to cover someone in itching powder or have a shaving cream fight, have at it. No ones stopping you.” Remus said dryly, pouring himself a new glass of pumpkin juice.
“That’s not the point!” Argued James. “We want to dress up and have someone give us candy as well!”
“For the last time,” Lily sighed exhaustedly “the candy is for the kids. You two are seventeen, nearly eighteen year old wizards. If you want candy, go to Honeydukes and get it yourselves.”
Sirius scoffed, folding his arms. “That is so not the same.”
Lily and Remus both groaned. They wouldn’t hear the end of this if they didn’t give in somehow.
“Alright, a compromise then?” Said Lily, adopting a diplomatic tone that made both James and Sirius sit up a little straighter, peaked with interest. “There’s no way in hell we’re letting the two of you loose in a muggle village for a free sugar high. But if you want to dress up so badly, we’ll make this year’s Gryffindor Common Room Halloween party into a costume party. How’s that?”
The two marauders exchanged a look, communicating in a way that only they understood, then looked back at Lily. They sat shoulder to shoulder, arms folded and clearly ready to set their own demands for the truce.
“Fine,” Said James. “But there needs to be candy.”
–
Word traveled pretty quickly, as it always did, of the annual Halloween party in Gryffindor tower.
It was Gryffindor’s biggest event of the year, a tradition that James and Sirius had started. Every Gryffindor partook in the festivities, as well as nearly half the Hufflepuffs and some Ravenclaws. There was always loads of sweets, great music and of course, more alcohol than anyone could imagine the boys would have come across legally. All that was enough to be excited about, but on the morning of Halloween it was as of the entire student body was talking about what they were going to dress as for the big bash.
Everyone except Remus. He was tucked away behind his bed curtains reading.
“Where is your holiday spirit, Moony?” James inquired loudly. He was standing in front of the mirror wearing a long, purple, velvety robe, holding his wand to his head and attempting to charm his unruly hair longer. “It’s Halloween, mate. You can’t just sit in bed and read.”
Remus made an indignant sound and turned the page. “It’s Stephen King. Horror. That’s plenty of Halloween spirit.” He frowned as he heard the Head Boy swear under his breath and he put the book down, popping his head out from the curtain. “Having a problem?”
“Can’t get this ruddy hair growing charm to work right.” James grumbled.
Remus snorted. Rather than James’ hair growing down his back, as was the supposed result he had been hoping for, it seemed to only want to sprout upwards. “You could leave it that way and go to the party as a paintbrush.”
James scowled at him in the mirror. “Very funny. Where the bloody hell is that useless boyfriend of yours? He’s better at these silly hair charms.”
Remus blinked. Where was Sirius? He hadn’t seen the other boy for hours. “Er, I’m not sure. Check the map?”
James huffed, ruffling his stiffened, haystack-like hair to no avail. He pointed his wand at his trunk. “Accio map.”
The neatly folded parchment flew across the room and James caught it without looking just as Peter entered from the bathroom.
“Alright, what d’you think?” Asked Peter, who stood before them wearing a brown t-shirt with a large rectangle drawn across the center in marker. He also had his alarm clock charmed to stick on his shoulder and…
“Are you wearing a lampshade on your head, Worm?” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m a ‘one night stand’.” Peter announced proudly.
Remus chuckled. “That’s…quite clever, actually.”
“Thanks Moony.” The shorter boy gave James a questioning look. “What’re you? A paintbrush?”
“THE CHARM KEEPS BACKFIRING! My hair just doesn’t-ugh! I’ll just ask Lily for help!” And he stormed out of the room leaving Peter and Remus laughing behind him.
Peter sat down on the edge of his bed, across from Remus’. “Are you and Pads going to be one of those obnoxious couples that dresses as something together?”
Remus groaned and rolled his eyes, opening the curtain of his bed the rest of the way and swinging his legs over the side to talk to Peter properly. “Well at first he begged me to do Rocky Horror with him and of course I said no. I’m not walking around in a gold speedo, thank you very much.” He crossed his arms over his chest as he thought of the scars all over his body. He would definitely not flaunt those.
“Well that’s understandable.” Peter reasoned. “So then what’s he going to be now?”
Remus shrugged. “He wouldn’t tell me.”
“Well how’re you suppose to match him if he doesn’t tell you?”
Remus chewed his bottom lip for a moment. “Er…” He felt his cheeks growing warm. “I don’t…I mean…I never really liked the whole dressing up thing.” He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. “I don’t do it.”
“Really?” Asked Peter, looking shocked. “You of all people didn’t jump at the chance for free chocolate as a kid?” He smirked. “I don’t believe it.”
“I did at one point I suppose,” muttered Remus, staring down at his hands in his lap and picking absently at a scar. “I dunno. I just remember one Halloween when I was maybe seven, mum and dad took me trick or treating and…well, I saw someone dressed as a werewolf and it just sort of got to me, you know? I’m what people use to scare others…I’m…a monster…”
Peter stared at him silently, unsure of what to say. Eventually he nodded and simply said “Oh.”
“It’s fine, really.” Said Remus. “I mean, once I got to Hogwarts I didn’t feel so badly about it because none of the Pureblood kids ever went trick-or-treating or dressed up either so I didn’t feel like I had missed out as much. It’s no big deal. I do like Halloween, the decorations and the school feast and everything…I’m just not really into the costumes so much.”
Peter frowned. “Why’d you agree to the costume party if it made you uncomfortable? Does Sirius know you-?”
“No,” Remus said quickly. “No. And I don’t want him to. He and James got really excited and then the whole bloody school got excited.” He shrugged. “I don’t want to ruin anyone’s fun. I’m still going to the party and I’m sure I’ll have a great time. I just don’t feel like dressing up.”
–
The party was, as always, a huge success and they were impressed over and over again with the creativity of their classmates’ costumes.
Marlene, Dorcas and Mary had gone rather simple. They wore mouse ears and sunglasses and claimed to be The Three Blind Mice.
Frank Longbottom was dressed in his Quidditch uniform, which at first was confusingly boring until Alice’s skipped happily down the stairs in a sparkling gold dress with enchanted fluttering wings as a golden snitch.
James, who had finally gotten the charm right, was still in the long purple robe. His usually messy mop of black hair was long, grey and down to his mid back and matched an equally long silver beard. Remus had to do a double take, actually believing that Dumbledore himself had stumbled upon the party. What really threw it together was when Lily came swooping in in an emerald green robe. Her own dark red hair had also been charmed grey and was pulled back in a tight knot and she had tiny, rectangular glasses resting on the tip of her nose.
“I’m voting for them for scariest costume of we’re having a contest.” Peter muttered in Remus’ ear.
“Oh? Why’s that?”
“Did you see them snogging before? No one wants to see Dumbledore and McGonagall snogging.” Said Peter with a shudder.
“…Ew.” Remus agreed, making a face and taking a long swig of the beer in his hand.
About forty five minutes into the party, Remus was slightly worried as no one had seen or heard from Sirius at all. Of course, he wasn’t overly concerned. If he knew Sirius at all, and he was pretty sure he did, he knew the boy was planning some grand arrival for all eyes to be on him. He did love the spotlight.
Remus was content to sit in the overstuffed armchair by the fire, drinking and reading his book. Although he was getting just a bit tired of being constantly asked where his costume was.
“This is my costume. I’m a muggle.”
“I’m a homicidal maniac, they look just like everybody else.”
“Undercover Auror.”
“I’m a werewolf.” He told a third year Hufflepuff with a smirk as his patience wore thin. The girl raised an eyebrow at him.
“But you don’t look like-”
“It isn’t a full moon, is it?” Remus snarked.
The girl, who was dressed as a unicorn in a white tutu with a handmade horn charmed to her forehead, was about to say something else when Remus felt a pair of arms come around to circle his shoulders from behind, and soft lips brushed the shell of his ear as a deep voice muttered.
“How perfect. Got you to go with a couple theme after all then, didn’t I Moony?”
The Hufflepuff’s cheeks turned pink and her eyes went wide. “Um…” She giggled. “I’ll be going then…” And she ran off to her friends.
The arms around him disappeared and he suddenly found himself with a lapful of his boyfriend. Remus’ face fell and he glared at the boy in his lap.
“Very funny, Padfoot.”
Sirius was wearing an impossibly short, red checkered dress that barely came down to his mid thigh, giving Remus a good view of the garters and fishnet thigh high stockings he adorned. This wasn’t new, Remus had seen Sirius cross dress before and he couldn’t say that it wasn’t attractive. Sirius had an amazing body and his legs looked like they had been sculpted by the gods when he wore heels. It wasn’t that, or the bright red lipstick and perfectly winged eyeliner that was bothering Remus.
It was the red hooded cape around his boyfriend’s shoulders.
“Little Red Riding Hood, Sirius? Really?” Remus grumbled, shoving his boyfriend off his lap. Sirius was laughing as he picked him self up off the floor and straightened out his skirt.
“Aw, come on Moons. Don’t be such a grump.” He gave Remus a flirty wink and bent over slightly to show off just how short the bloody costume was. “I think you kind of like it.”
Remus’ cheeks felt like they were on fire and his stomach dropped. Merlin why did Sirius have to have such a perfect arse?
“I don’t.” Remus lied, managing to keep his voice flat. He opened his book back up and waved Sirius off. “Run along and enjoy the party, you tart.”
Sirius chuckled and shrugged. “Alright, if you insist.” He blew the werewolf a kiss and disappeared into the crowd.
Try as he might, Remus found it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything for the night. His eyes constantly drifted, searching and finding Sirius wherever he may be and watching hungrily from afar as his boyfriend laughed with James or danced with Marlene. He had finally had enough when he saw Sirius by the punch bowl, bent over and smiling flirtatiously, talking to Ravenclaw Quidditch captain Trent Clearwater. Closing his book and placing it on the table, Remus crossed the room to the refreshment table to stand behind Sirius, giving Trent a threatening look. The color from the Ravenclaw’s cheeks drained and he cleared his throat. “Er…so I’ll see you around then, Black…” And he left hurriedly.
Sirius straightened up, jumping when he felt his body press against the one behind him.
Remus smirked and pressed his lips to the side of his neck, his fingers moving to discreetly stroke Sirius’ bare thigh and slipping beneath a garter.
“Hey there Little Red Riding Hood,” He muttered huskily against the boy’s neck.
Sirius chuckled and leaned further against Remus. “Hi Moony.” He turned to face his boyfriend, winding his arms around his neck. Remus’ hands continued to roam over Sirius’ thighs, eventually coming up to squeeze his arse. He continued to kiss his way up Sirius’ neck. “You sure are looking good…”
Sirius grinned, a mischievous glint in his silvery eyes. “I see you’ve come around, then.”
“Mmm…” Remus hummed affirmatively, wondering what Sirius was wearing under that skirt. “Think you’re cute, do you?”
Sirius shrugged, his fingers tangling in Remus’ curls. “Don’t you?”
“I think you’re bloody gorgeous.” Remus growled softly in his ear, taking the lobe between his teeth and nibbling until Sirius squirmed in his arms. Remus looked around the room, everyone was distracted enough not to notice if they made a run for the dorm. He took Sirius’ hand. “Come on.”
Sirius’ grin turned to a satisfied smirk as he was dragged up the stairs to the dorm. Remus wasted no time at all once the door was shut, and he shoved Sirius roughly against the wall, crushing their lips together in a deep, hungry kiss that made Sirius moan and arch his hips.
Remus’ hands were everywhere, rubbing up and down Sirius’ arms, slipping beneath the dress to stroke his lightly muscled abdomen, back down to the perfect curve of his arse. “Fuck…” He breathed, feeling the silky fabric of Sirius’ underwear. He pressed another long kiss to the boy’s panting mouth. “What full lips you have, they’re sure to lure someone bad…”
“Mmm, someone like you I hope?” Sirius said breathlessly as Remus’ hips grounded against his own.
“Someone very much like me.” Muttered Remus, his bright amber eyes flashing dangerously. He licked his lips. “Get on the bed.”
Sirius quickly scrambled onto Remus’ bed, which was closest, and laid back against the pillows, propping himself up on his elbows to watch the prefect with lustful eyes.

-SeXxXxX!!!!!!! Bad Little Red Riding Hood Puns!!! More sex!!!!! Remus being a snarky little shit!!!! You should really read the full explicit version on AO3!!! Wooooooo!!!!!!!-

The door to the dorm room swung open and two people stumbled in, their laughter muffled by each other’s mouths.
“Whoaa…Shit!” James’ voice made Sirius quickly jump off of Remus, who grabbed the blanket to cover them.
Lily snorted and covered her mouth, a fit of giggles escaping her despite every effort to stop. “Oh Merlin! You two…in costume!”
Sirius frowned, pulling the blanket tighter around him. “Oh like you two can talk! Who the bloody hell wants to see Dumbledore and Mcgonagall going at it the way you’ve been all night?”
There was a long silence between the four of them in which they all just stared at each other.
James coughed awkwardly, scratching his long, silver, Dumbledore beard. “So…we never speak of this moment again, yeah?”
Remus and Sirius both nodded. “Agreed.”
“Right-o…great. So…this never happened. And Lily and I are going to change out of these costumes before we, er…y’know…get to it…” He nudged Lily. “Right, Lils?”
“Oh,” Lily giggled. “Right. Yes, of course.”
“Okay then…” Said Remus. “Good night.” He yanked the curtain closed and collapsed back onto the bed looking completely mortified.
Sirius cast a silencing chard before laying beside him, and they both sat in stunned silence.
“Hey Moony…”
“Yeah?”
“I bet you five galleons they don’t take those costumes off and they have crazy kinky sex dressed as Dumbledore and Minnie.”
Remus groaned. “You’re disgusting Padfoot.” He sighed. “But yeah, you’re totally right.”